Tag Archives: persistence

Book Review: The War of Art

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I had heard much talk of Pressfield’s The War of Art, but it always remained tucked on the back of my to read list. Then, as serrendipitous conversation with a colleague led to her lending me the book. Suddenly, all those reviews about it being a game changer made complete sense.

 Most of use have two lives. The life we live and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.

The concept is simple: resistance. We all feel it, we all succumb to it. This book is for anyone who has dreams – hopefully big dreams – that never seem to get closer to being tangible. I’m not talking pie in the sky, wishy washy vague aspirations. I’m talking about those people who know there is something more important they should be doing, perhaps something they were put on this earth to do, yet never actually moving forwards. Because resistance gets to us all.

The Book is itself divided into three ‘books’ and the first one ‘Resistance – defining the enemy’ is perhaps one of the easiest things I’ve ever read. I positively devoured each page, recognising myself staring back in among the words. Pressfield has mastered the art of the bite size chunk. It is both brutal and inspiring at the same time.

Book Two ‘Combating Resistance’ was a bit slower, less immediate, with more to digest in each section. I found myself naturally pausing more and thinking about what was being said, rather than having an instantaneous response.

Book Three ‘Beyond Resistance’ is more spiritual in some ways, but also more empowering. Whilst it explores the concept that we might have a reason for being, a talent for want of a better word, breaking past our own fear and being that true self is not automatic. It is still up to us to do the work. To take those first steps, to follow through and finally to complete. It doesn’t sugar-coat anything; just completing once is unlikely to be enough, it is in persistence and continued moving past resistance that the the higher ground can be found.

This book is an easy read in the grand scheme of things. More importantly, for those teetering on the edge, it has a knack for providing a mind shift towards getting off your backside and achieving the best you can be.

war of art

I can’t wait to read Turning Pro.

The importance of a quarterly review

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We’re at the end of March. Which means one thing: quarterly review time!

For years I have been a follower of David Allen’s Getting Things Done system. It works. In my opinion, it is the first step in allowing you to start being more productive in all areas of your life, not just your career. I think one of the common misconceptions about the whole GTD methodology is that it is just for work. For go-getting executive types. The ones with the sharp suits. Spoiler alert: that’s not me.

What I am is a busy person with a tendency to over-commit. I also keep a level head in a crisis and in the face of overwhelm, which helps people believe that they can dump more sh!t on me because I am keeping my head above water. It’s great, really. I love it.

But being productive is only one part of the picture. I don’t want to be super-efficient at all the wrong things. That is about as fulfilling in the long term as doing nothing at all. So while a lot of people focus on the lists and gadgets to implement GTD, for me the most important – and oft overlooked – part is the weekly review.

In order to really stay on track though, I think it is vital to implement a quarterly review. Why? I hear no-one ask, because that sounds like just another thing to add to the list. I’m going to tell you anyway. You can say thank you later.

It gives you a chance to course correct

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans – Woody Allen. We set out at the beginning of the year with the best information available at the time. Then external circumstances change. Even if you’ve been making good progress, if things have changed too much, you’ll just keep getting further and further away from the new best end result. Every three months is a good time to assess those changes and course correct as necessary.

It motivates you when you see how much you’ve achieved

I’ve already hit the my first big writing goal of the year. I’ve got a huge house project that’s been hanging around for ages done at last. Sure, I’ve not been perfect, but it’s not been terrible.

It gives you a framework to address consistent areas of weakness

I haven’t hit any of my health goals for this year. In fact, it’s the one area of my life that when I look back over the past three months, I see consistently poor and even backwards progress in some cases. We’ve all got these areas on our life. The hardest part is facing up to them. This is your chance to do so.

*puts down doughnut*

It means you don’t look at your New Years Resolutions in December and realise you’ve wasted another year

Because we’ve all done that, right?

A few quick step-by-step approaches

1. Review the goals you set at the beginning of the year and assess the progress you’ve made. Honestly.

2. Get rid of those goals you added on because you thought you should, not because you wanted to. You’ve got no reason to do them, not emotionally, so they’ll just clog up your list. You need goals that you’ve connected to, the ones that have a why? attached.

3. Have you been capturing all those things you need to do into somewhere reliable? If not, do a mindsweep and do it now. Put it on paper, on your laptop, your smartphone, whatever you choose. Just make it somewhere you’ll look that you trust.

4. Look over your life – all areas, all levels. Is what you’re doing consistent with your roles and responsibilities? Your dreams? Your 2-5 year vision? There’s no great mystery behind this. If you start doing it, honestly, you’ll find some part of your psyche tugging you towards something if you’re off track.

5. What next action steps do you need to take to get moving again on your goals?

6. Pick one of them and do it immediately once the review ends.

That’s it. It really is that simple. All it takes is the commitment and will to move forwards.

Good luck!

GTD-Workflow

On never being 37

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This is a bit of a personal post, so if that’s not your thing, then feel free to head back off to somewhere else. Of course, it’s actually a post about avoidance and how the big events of our lives sometimes impact us in strange ways unless we realise it.

I am actually 37. Despite the title of the post, I didn’t get to skip the year. Aliens did not kidnap me nor did I get frozen in time. I have been 37 for many months, but from the day I turned 37, I started saying I was nearly 38. Not nearly 40, or some other universal milestone event. 38.

Why?

When I realised I’ve been doing it, it was immediately obvious. My mother was 38 when my dad died. His death was, hands down, the most monumental and life-altering moment of my existence. The effects of it have reverberated across my family and through the years. At the heart of it, I couldn’t imagine being so young and losing the love of your life. Losing, in the process, your own, in a very real way.

Being 38 has become symbolic to me of something deeper. Something terrifying. Something I am drawn towards and yet don’t really want to arrive. Something that is now, after months of saying that I’m nearly at it, I actually am beginning to approach.

We inherit the things that go before us, whether we want them or not. We can let them define us, or we can acknowledge them and accept them, before walking our own path. I am trying to cling tight to the idea of the latter, even as the clock ticks down towards a time that has become something of a monster in the back of my mind.

Can you get worse at meditation?

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At the beginning of the year, one of my main goals for 2015 was to get to the point where I could meditate for 30 minutes. I knew that it wouldn’t be easy, so I used the calm app for my phone so I could work my way through, starting with small chunks and building up.

Despite setting my expectations low, it’s been harder than I thought. I assumed that it would start off difficult but then I would have longer and longer periods of a calm and quiet mind. Instead, the voices are getting louder.

I’m not sure if this is a normal thing. There is a chance that I’m at that point which occurs with most things; the bit where it gets so bad you want to give up before the breakthrough. It could be that I’m actually getting worse at it. I might be the first person to ever end a year’s worth of meditation more stressed out than when I started.

I don’t want to give up on this though. Not just yet. I have a few more strategies I’m going to try:

1) changing the time of day. I’ve been doing it just before bed, but maybe that’s not right for me. Instead, I’m going to try to move it to part of my 6am morning routine, before I have the chaos of the day built up inside of me.

2) change the frequency. I set myself a goal of doing it three times a week, because that seems doable. It means it doesn’t form a habit though, so the inertia sets in between each session. While it might seem crazy to say I’m going to do it more when I’m already struggling to do it less, I can see the benefit of making it part of my daily routine.

3) reduce the time back down again. I’ve been trying to do ten minute blocks, because that seemed reasonable. It could be that sitting for ten minutes right now is more than my brain can handle, so it allows itself to turn into a free-for-all. Going down to five minutes (or perhaps even three), until I can see some progress might be enough for now. I can build up again when I’m ready.

So that’s the plan. If anyone has any helpful hints, or has been through this and come out the other side, then please let me know!

Helloooo March!

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According to most people and popular media (so it must be true, right?) the most depressing day of the year is Blue Monday – the third Monday in January. Not for me. January isn’t a depressing month at all as far as I’m concerned – it’s February that’s the kicker. And today means it’s behind me for another year.

I’m a compulsive goal setter and personal development freak. Given the holiday downtime and resolution nature of the New Year, I’m generally fired up for January. I have plans. Ambitions. A reason to keep going even though my body is sluggish from too much Christmas food. And because I don’t make resolutions on the fly on 1st January, I have the power to keep going through Blue Monday.

Now, February is unique. It is the only month with 28 days and for me, each of those days feels like 2 regular month days. February drags. It’s a combination of factors.

Give me my sun

Living in England most of the time means that by February the dark nights are getting tiresome. The days are grey and dull. I’m starting to dream of sunshine but aware that lying out in the heat is still a long, long time away.

Goals and habits hit the tough spot

Even if you’re lucky enough to have stayed on track all the way through January, you’re probably about to hit the hard bit. It used to be that people believed it took 21 days to create a habit, but more recent research indicates it is closer to 66. That’s an average. For some habits it will be much, much longer. This is divided into three sections. The first third, when it is painful and horrible but you still have the motivational x-factor. The second third, where it’s still painful but you’re not seeing the benefits yet. The final third, where it stops being painful and some benefits also start to trickle through. February tends to embrace that middle third with open arms and strokes you with misery.

Collaborative projects start to wobble

These can be passion-driven projects or work related projects. When everyone comes back after the holidays in January, they’re refreshed. Projects seem doable. The plan is put in place. Of course, no project ever goes one hundred per cent according to plan, so February is when people start to become out of sync. They work at difference focus levels, and emotional commitment to the project starts to waver. By the time these have been worked through, there is no avoiding the negative impact on the other areas of life.

So, now I get to welcome March with open arms. In four weeks the clocks change and the extra sunlight will make it easier to escape the soft warm clutches of the duvet. Today, I have set a few hours aside to review my goals and plans as set out at the beginning of the year and allow myself to course correct.

I sit down with my fieldnotes book and journal for a little while, trying to get to the root of what I’m feeling and any obstacles I’m putting in the way of myself subconsciously. By using the bullet journal approach, it becomes clear which tasks I’ve been deferring just a little too frequently.

Just doing that can be scary, but it will allow me to draw a line under the past four weeks and move on once more with a new sense of purpose. The new habits are either engrained or are about to hit the payoff stage. If I’ve not really kept up with them, I can ask myself why and see if they are still aligned with the bigger picture I have for the year.

Remember: March = momentum, if you let it.

Fortune Cookie

Writing and labels

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Yesterday, I was reading this article by Aminatta Forna entitled ‘don’t judge a book by its author’ and I found it absolutely captivating. It got me thinking about something which has been brewing at the back of my mind for a long time. It’s all caught up in that messy understanding of what I write.

When I get the opportunity to meet and mingle with other writers, the question often pops up. What do you write? I always hesitate and the word seems to get stuck at the back of my throat because it’s so obvious, surely: stories. The confusion and uncertainty comes from knowing the question that is really being asked is ‘which genre do you write?’

Which section of which bookshelf would you like to sit on?

But my honest answer is always in that one word. I generally waffle a bit about writing anything and everything, passing myself off as a Jack of all trades. Yet very few authors actually make it down that route. We all know that Neil Gaiman is the notable exception, even forgiven for that mild transgression regarding Duran Duran. All others must not pass without first declaring their pigeonhole.

I’ve never written science fiction. I don’t care enough about getting the science part right to make it an enjoyable experience for me or anyone else who might then get to read it. Fantasy, with much more leeway to veer around, I’ve tried. Horror. Romance. Short stories. YA. So called general fiction. I find a story rattling around in my brain and I write it down. It never crosses my mind to think in terms of genre first. A character whispers in my ear that they have something interesting to tell me and if they happen to be a teenager, a seventeenth century serving wench or a werehamster* then so be it.

I’m not a single characteristic. I’m a messy, complex human being. Likewise, I can’t see myself ever getting joy from being trapped in a single genre. But there is one thing I’m starting to realise:

I really don’t mind.

You can keep your labels to yourself.

 

*Never actually written a thing with a werehamster

A lot can happen in a year…

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Apologies for the lack of posting, but I’m having part of downstairs remodelled into a kitchen/diner, and attempting to live and work on only one floor has so far proved to be more challenging than I had anticipated.

Today is the first time I’ve had to just sit, take a breath and look around. I realised then that this time last year I was equally as surrounded by boxes, about to pack a few final things and head off to New Zealand for six months. It was a good way to remind myself that no matter how manic things feel right now, they are nothing compared to how things were back then.

A lot has changed. I’ve had the chance to travel a lot more and it’s been a year since I’ve worked for my old company. I still find myself in old work mode, especially now I’m driving up and down motorways so much and stopping at services. I look at the posters and the screens and can see touches of things I was once involved in that have carried on without me. I’m a sucker for nostalgia.

But anyway, before I drift off down memory lane, I thought I’d share the one insight I’ve had whilst trying to continue my writing and 2015 health resolutions and all that other good stuff that seemed so shiny on January 1st: Be Kind To Yourself.

You can have a plan, you can have a plan B for that matter, but sometimes it will still be an absolute nightmare to keep going when life throws you a curveball. Or in this instance, the lack of a kettle. No kettle equals no coffee at 6am and quite frankly, that is never a good way for me to start my day. It’s not that great for anyone around me either. Having intermittent access to water means I’m not drinking my 8 pints a day. And eating meals that come from either restaurants or the microwave is already starting to show in all the wrong places. I look at my weekly tasks and there is a significant lack of ticks in the boxes.

All of which means I can either try to continue with some things and do them badly, give up completely, or option number 3: acknowledge the difficulties, do the things I can and then make a solid plan to move more on them later. For most things, this is the option I’ve accepted.

Because I’m not ready to quit, but I’m not going to get down on myself for the things I can’t control either. At the end of January, I’ll get up, dust myself off (quite literally, as there is plaster dust in every ***ing room) and start again.

Writing Goals 2015

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This post is about writing goals, but it really can (and should) apply to any area of your life.

We’re a week into 2015 which means, according to the stats, that as many as 75% of you are still on track. Awesome. However, the stats also say that the number of us still sticking to those resolutions by the end of the month is going to nosedive like lemmings off a cliff. Less awesome.

My writing goals, along with my goals in other life areas, were not randomly plucked out of the air on New Years Day. I spent some quality time in December looking back over what I’ve achieved in the past year and where I went horribly derailed despite my best intentions. Live and learn people, live and learn.

Achieving goals is something I’ve come to realise is largely down to habits. Good habits specifically, like getting up at 6am to write, which I’ve been doing for about four years now. Understanding the bigger picture in working your way towards success takes more than just an hour of ‘I wish’. It also requires being brave. So, putting my big girl pants on, my goals are:

  • Submit, submit, submit, even when the rejections become demoralising
  • Self-publish 2 novels as my alter-ego
  • Finish writing the novel I’m halfway through
  • Write 2 new full length stories
  • Finish NaNoWriMo in a week (doing it in 3 days this year was astounding, but it damn near finished me off)
  • Keep this blog going for another year

There, that’s my caring and sharing done. It seems a lot, seeing it written there for all the world to see, but possible. Not easy, but all research indicates that goals should stretch you a little, even if that means they scare you a little too.

I’ve broken them down into monthly and weekly goals, so I can take baby steps. The monthly goals are written on an index card and blue-tacked above my desk, where they shout at my face all day long to remind me. At the end of the month, I’ll be able to see in black and white whether or not I’m on track.

So, without further ado, I’d better head off now and make some progress on one of them.

Perhaps after another cup of coffee…

When you get up in the morning, choose YOU

When you get up in the morning, choose YOU

My Top 5 Podcasts of 2014

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They say you become an approximation of the five people you hang out with most. Given that I’m a writer who works from home three days a week, that would be two actual other people, followed by me, myself and I. Luckily, I listen to a lot of podcasts. Yet I know a lot of people don’t, so here’s a few reasons why you should.

Firstly, there is a whole heap of them out there, so you’ll be able to find something to suit your mood. Secondly, because there are so many, if you have a niche interest, with a bit of hunting around, you will find one about your odd subject of choice. If you don’t, you can always start one yourself. There’s even podcasts on how to make podcasts. See what I mean? Plethora of information. Finally, in order to get you to listen, people essentially give away a condensed version of their content for free. This is a great way to try before you buy, especially in the world of business, where conferences and books can cost a fortune. Go on. Give it a try.

So, without further ado, here they are (with twitter links to their creators/presenters):

Top podcast of 2014

The Pen Addict with Myke Hurley & Brad Dowdy

See what I mean about a niche interest? My long-held secret crush for pens and notebooks finally blossomed into true love due to these men. Which sounds much nicer than calling them the pen-pushing enablers they really are. The shows are always fun and informative, and for anyone who does a lot of longhand writing (or drawing), just knowing some of the best pens out there can make your life so much easier. They do the hard work so you don’t have to. Plus, they are a super nice pair of guys following their dreams, which I always admire (you can check out Brad’s Nock Co pen cases here. They are awesome – my Hightower goes everywhere with me).

Top Businesses Podcast

This is Your Life by Michael Hyatt

I’ve put this under business, but it is so much more than that. Michael’s tagline is that it is a podcast about intentional leadership, but I think it goes much deeper. It certainly deals with brand and platform, alongside how to be a better leader, but it is not actually all career specific. A lot of what Michael focuses on is the principles and ethics which lie beneath these decisions, and in a cut-throat world where a lot of people will do anything to get one foot further up the ladder, it is a refreshing reminder that honesty and integrity on the things that really matter. It is about achieving your goals and ambitions in the right way, not ‘at any cost’.

Top Writing Podcast

Writing Excuses with Brandon Sanderson, Dan Wells, Howard Taylor and Mary Robinette Kowal

In my humble opinion, anyone who is – or wants to be – a writer should be listening to this podcast. I’ve actually been listening to it for years, but during my little writing sabbatical at the beginning of the year I was able to go back and re-listen to many of them to get the really good stuff out. For a podcast which is only 15 minutes long, it is amazing that they manage to get so much useful information into an episode with four people talking. Each of them brings a different perspective to the topic, meaning that even if one person’s tips and tricks don’t work for you, there is a good chance that someone else’s will. Also great if you like reading in general, comics and occasional buffoonery.

Top Getting Up Podcast

5AM Miracle with Jeff Sanders

Now, you might not think that ‘Getting Up’ is a category, but let me assure you it is. It might never have been called that before, but early rising has been a hot topic in 2014. I’ve been getting up at 6am to write for years now. I’ve not made it to 5am yet, but I think 6 is a pretty reasonable compromise. It’s not easy, even when you’re getting up to do something you love. Jeff’s podcast is a good way of not only finding that motivation, but also tips and tricks to make it easier once you’ve dragged your sorry backside from under the duvet on a cold, dark Monday morning. Covering productivity and healthier living, this podcast has matured greatly over the past twelve months and it has been great to follow Jeff’s journey through this.

Best Health & Wellness Podcast

Jillian Michaels with Jillian Michaels and Janice Ungaro

Another misleading header, as although this podcast started out as health and fitness, it has now grown into having a nice catchup with friends talking about whatever the topic of the day is. And that is just fine with me. Janice gets a mention here because although she’s technically the producer, she has become the other half of this comedy act. The thing that I love the most about this is that Jillian talks with complete honesty – there is no hiding behind the PR company here. It’s like sitting round in a coffee shop with a bunch of friends that you know are slightly crazy but you love them anyway. The serious stuff gets slipped in there somewhere along the way without ever sounding too preachy.

So that’s my roundup. It’s been a good year for consuming audio material and seriously, if you haven’t tried podcasts before, then go find one. Free and easy, just like libraries. What do you have to lose?

NaNoWriMo – Head Down, Keep Going

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For a lot of people still chugging away at NanoWrimo, this is the hard part. So I just wanted to write a very quick post of encouragement for those who are starting to believe the finish line will never arrive.

For those of you who have only written a thousand words every day – you are awesome. You have taken the time to write consistently and that is something that most people really struggle to do. Even if by the end of Nano that means you’ve only written 30,000 words, then who cares? You’ve still achieved and that is a great thing, even if November 30th appears and you’re still slogging away.

Or as Douglas Adams puts it:

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.

nanowrimo-logo

There will be some people who did great in the beginning then had a few rough days and now want to give up. That is completely understandable. Bad days can knock your motivation, enthusiasm and self-belief. Now is the time to stand up, try on your superhero pose and start again. Take anything, a line, a scene, an interesting character, and start writing. The beauty of Nano is that it doesn’t have to be perfect. Or even averagely good. It just needs to be written down and out of your brain.

For everyone else at all stages in between, the advice is the same. Keep going. The sense of satisfaction at seeing that progress bar hit the 50k for the first time is quite memorable. You might even find that you want to keep going when it is done. There are an increasing number of published novels out there that were NanoWrimo monsters to begin with, which is something to keep in mind.

Remember:

If you can tell stories, create characters, devise incidents, and have sincerity and passion, it doesn’t matter a damn how you write.
– Somerset Maugham

Now, go do it!