Category Archives: Better Living

Health, personal development and productivity tips

Helloooo March!

According to most people and popular media (so it must be true, right?) the most depressing day of the year is Blue Monday – the third Monday in January. Not for me. January isn’t a depressing month at all as far as I’m concerned – it’s February that’s the kicker. And today means it’s behind me for another year.

I’m a compulsive goal setter and personal development freak. Given the holiday downtime and resolution nature of the New Year, I’m generally fired up for January. I have plans. Ambitions. A reason to keep going even though my body is sluggish from too much Christmas food. And because I don’t make resolutions on the fly on 1st January, I have the power to keep going through Blue Monday.

Now, February is unique. It is the only month with 28 days and for me, each of those days feels like 2 regular month days. February drags. It’s a combination of factors.

Give me my sun

Living in England most of the time means that by February the dark nights are getting tiresome. The days are grey and dull. I’m starting to dream of sunshine but aware that lying out in the heat is still a long, long time away.

Goals and habits hit the tough spot

Even if you’re lucky enough to have stayed on track all the way through January, you’re probably about to hit the hard bit. It used to be that people believed it took 21 days to create a habit, but more recent research indicates it is closer to 66. That’s an average. For some habits it will be much, much longer. This is divided into three sections. The first third, when it is painful and horrible but you still have the motivational x-factor. The second third, where it’s still painful but you’re not seeing the benefits yet. The final third, where it stops being painful and some benefits also start to trickle through. February tends to embrace that middle third with open arms and strokes you with misery.

Collaborative projects start to wobble

These can be passion-driven projects or work related projects. When everyone comes back after the holidays in January, they’re refreshed. Projects seem doable. The plan is put in place. Of course, no project ever goes one hundred per cent according to plan, so February is when people start to become out of sync. They work at difference focus levels, and emotional commitment to the project starts to waver. By the time these have been worked through, there is no avoiding the negative impact on the other areas of life.

So, now I get to welcome March with open arms. In four weeks the clocks change and the extra sunlight will make it easier to escape the soft warm clutches of the duvet. Today, I have set a few hours aside to review my goals and plans as set out at the beginning of the year and allow myself to course correct.

I sit down with my fieldnotes book and journal for a little while, trying to get to the root of what I’m feeling and any obstacles I’m putting in the way of myself subconsciously. By using the bullet journal approach, it becomes clear which tasks I’ve been deferring just a little too frequently.

Just doing that can be scary, but it will allow me to draw a line under the past four weeks and move on once more with a new sense of purpose. The new habits are either engrained or are about to hit the payoff stage. If I’ve not really kept up with them, I can ask myself why and see if they are still aligned with the bigger picture I have for the year.

Remember: March = momentum, if you let it.

Fortune Cookie

Writing and labels

Yesterday, I was reading this article by Aminatta Forna entitled ‘don’t judge a book by its author’ and I found it absolutely captivating. It got me thinking about something which has been brewing at the back of my mind for a long time. It’s all caught up in that messy understanding of what I write.

When I get the opportunity to meet and mingle with other writers, the question often pops up. What do you write? I always hesitate and the word seems to get stuck at the back of my throat because it’s so obvious, surely: stories. The confusion and uncertainty comes from knowing the question that is really being asked is ‘which genre do you write?’

Which section of which bookshelf would you like to sit on?

But my honest answer is always in that one word. I generally waffle a bit about writing anything and everything, passing myself off as a Jack of all trades. Yet very few authors actually make it down that route. We all know that Neil Gaiman is the notable exception, even forgiven for that mild transgression regarding Duran Duran. All others must not pass without first declaring their pigeonhole.

I’ve never written science fiction. I don’t care enough about getting the science part right to make it an enjoyable experience for me or anyone else who might then get to read it. Fantasy, with much more leeway to veer around, I’ve tried. Horror. Romance. Short stories. YA. So called general fiction. I find a story rattling around in my brain and I write it down. It never crosses my mind to think in terms of genre first. A character whispers in my ear that they have something interesting to tell me and if they happen to be a teenager, a seventeenth century serving wench or a werehamster* then so be it.

I’m not a single characteristic. I’m a messy, complex human being. Likewise, I can’t see myself ever getting joy from being trapped in a single genre. But there is one thing I’m starting to realise:

I really don’t mind.

You can keep your labels to yourself.

 

*Never actually written a thing with a werehamster

A lot can happen in a year…

Apologies for the lack of posting, but I’m having part of downstairs remodelled into a kitchen/diner, and attempting to live and work on only one floor has so far proved to be more challenging than I had anticipated.

Today is the first time I’ve had to just sit, take a breath and look around. I realised then that this time last year I was equally as surrounded by boxes, about to pack a few final things and head off to New Zealand for six months. It was a good way to remind myself that no matter how manic things feel right now, they are nothing compared to how things were back then.

A lot has changed. I’ve had the chance to travel a lot more and it’s been a year since I’ve worked for my old company. I still find myself in old work mode, especially now I’m driving up and down motorways so much and stopping at services. I look at the posters and the screens and can see touches of things I was once involved in that have carried on without me. I’m a sucker for nostalgia.

But anyway, before I drift off down memory lane, I thought I’d share the one insight I’ve had whilst trying to continue my writing and 2015 health resolutions and all that other good stuff that seemed so shiny on January 1st: Be Kind To Yourself.

You can have a plan, you can have a plan B for that matter, but sometimes it will still be an absolute nightmare to keep going when life throws you a curveball. Or in this instance, the lack of a kettle. No kettle equals no coffee at 6am and quite frankly, that is never a good way for me to start my day. It’s not that great for anyone around me either. Having intermittent access to water means I’m not drinking my 8 pints a day. And eating meals that come from either restaurants or the microwave is already starting to show in all the wrong places. I look at my weekly tasks and there is a significant lack of ticks in the boxes.

All of which means I can either try to continue with some things and do them badly, give up completely, or option number 3: acknowledge the difficulties, do the things I can and then make a solid plan to move more on them later. For most things, this is the option I’ve accepted.

Because I’m not ready to quit, but I’m not going to get down on myself for the things I can’t control either. At the end of January, I’ll get up, dust myself off (quite literally, as there is plaster dust in every ***ing room) and start again.

It’s time for a Time Out

This year has been a crazy and exciting year for me. I’ve circumnavigated the globe, changed jobs, become self-employed as well, and walked hand-in-hand with people who are going through things much worse than anything I have had to deal with.

There comes a natural point in which I realise I need to take a time out. It happens every year, usually much earlier than this, but putting it off any longer is futile. I need to unplug from the world, reassess where my life is going and how to make the most of the few weeks which remain before the end of the year.

Research is mounting up to show that not enough people are doing this. One of the leading causes of burnout, people are simply not stepping away from the world of work, the drama of their social lives, or even the constant bombarding of information from the internet. People are feeling overwhelmed and overloaded and it is pushing so many people down the road of unhappiness. Even the fact I’m sharing this in a blog post is indicative of the ubiquitous pressure to connect and share with the world at large. Don’t get me wrong, connections are very valuable and an essential part of life, but is this just the written version of the selfie?

For the past ten years (at least), I have put great faith in stepping away from it all for at least two consecutive weeks each year. Time to read, time to be creative and thing of new projects I want to tackle. There is nothing like being freed from your daily obligations to get the creative juices flowing. It has always been of great benefit in my work life too, allowing me to successfully cope with the pressure of day jobs which have been a vortex for my time and energy. Thankfully, that hasn’t been the case as much this year, which – hopefully – means it should take even less time to unwind and relax.

I have picked out my selection of books to read (fiction and non-fiction for variety), a couple of notebooks to both journal in and devise cunning plots, and a determination to remove that little wireless button from my life for a bit.

There may also be cocktails, but maybe not. That’s just part of the freedom to do what I want to do.

 

Fortune Cookie

An Abundance Mindset

I really struggle with having an abundance mindset, but I’m trying. An abundance mindset is not believing that just because someone gets something it means you don’t. Even though my rational brain states that it’s not true, my emotional brain always tries to scream ‘mine’ and get me to run to the corner and hide.

I think I can firmly place how this all began. As a child, I played nicely and looked after my things. I’ve always been very careful with my ‘stuff’. I don’t consider myself to be materialistic in the sense that most people think; I don’t want fine art, the best things, or even things that are better than what everyone else. I’ve no desire at all to keep up with the Joneses. I just like my stuff to be my stuff. I’ve had been that way since I can remember. Then, when I was six, my baby sister was born and came into my life like a tornado (which, in fairness, she has pretty much remained ever since) and as a baby / toddler had no qualms about breaking my stuff or smearing it in melted chocolate that she had refused to relinquish from her grubby little fist for six hours.

Thus began the concept of ‘mine’. If I share, it will be taken from me and destroyed.

Of course, as an adult, take that attitude too far and you simply become cynical and bitter. So whilst I’ll probably never be great at sharing with the other kids, that doesn’t mean I can’t be happy for them when they have achievements and blessings in life. It might mean overcoming the worst parts of my nature, but I’m determined to give it a try.

Now give me my blog back. It’s mine…

Letters From The Past, Thanks To FutureMe.org

About 9 months ago, I was on a nice beach holiday, reading Quitter and Start by Jon Acuff. It was there that I first read about the FutureMe.org website. I made a note of it to investigate when I got back. Essentially, it allows you to type an email to your future self, sending it to arrive on a date of your choice. This can have all kinds of purposes. For me, I wanted to keep my future self going in the direction I want to be heading.

You see, the previous six months had been a roller coaster of life spinning out of control. The highs had been high but the lows had also been super low. Life does that to you sometimes. You have to learn to roll with the punches. But because of that, a creeping sense of dissatisfaction had begun to pervade my life. I knew I was heading towards a point where I might be able to make some changes. I wasn’t sure yet what they were going to be, but as I sat there, toes in the sand, honestly assessing my life and scribbling everything in my notepad to make me accountable, I was determined to do something.

Sadly, I’d done (to a lesser extent) the same thing on previous holidays. One of the things I had confessed to in my notepad was not having the courage to do some things, nor the motivation to do others. Therefore, when I penned my email to my future self, I wanted to be kind, but also realistic.

It arrived this morning:

Dear FutureMe,

So you’ve just come back from two sunny weeks in Spain, where you did a lot of talking and thinking and list making for the future. You often do that on holiday. But this time, you wanted it to be different. This time you really wanted to mean it.

I strongly suspect that when you get this, you won’t have made the wild progress that you want. Your dreams won’t have all magically come true via a lottery win. But over the next few months after writing this, you will have been making some of the biggest decisions ever. The ones that will shape your life. The ones that will start you on the road to being something and someone you want to be. Remember that.

Remember it, because I suspect when you’re reading this, then the reality you are living in won’t be massively different from the one I am writing this in. That doesn’t mean it’s time to quit. Just look yourself in the eye and ask if you’re really doing everything you can to make the life you want happen. If you can, then great. If you can’t, then pick yourself up and get going again. Keep taking the steps. Keep hustling. Keep going.

If, by some chance you are everything that you were thinking about during this last holiday, then congratulations. Keep being the best you can be. Don’t get lazy, arrogant or sloppy. Be the person you need to be for the people who love you most. Keep living your life so you can look yourself in the eye.

I hope, regardless of anything else, you’ve done those things you needed to do to get some self-belief.

Keep going kiddo.

That is it, completely unedited or censored.

Have I made some changes? Yes, I’ve got to spend six months in New Zealand really working on what matters most to me. Am I a published author yet? No, but I’m trying and I continue to try. I’m exploring self-publishing too, so that I can continue to grow and learn about the industry as it rapidly changes alongside me.

The reality is also that I’m heading back to the UK soon, at least for the immediate future. So perhaps if I had chosen to not have the mail arrive now, but instead a month from now, the geographical context might have made me feel differently. I don’t know. But that’s not really the point. It arrived now, and gave me a little bit of faith for the next steps.Today I will write another one. I’d recommend that you do too.

More info here:

Going Un-Paperless – 5 Steps For When You Find You Can’t Go Paperless

We live in the future, where all our files and folders live on our smartphones and laptops, right? Even our books are digital. So why is it that so many people fear going paperless, and what can you do when you find yourself in an environment that is either unwilling or unable to change?

Like most aspiring authors, I tend to enjoy food and shelter, so supplement my income with a day job. My previous role was inherently paperless. The only time I really made paper lists was when I was in a situation of overload and the act of writing it down gave me focus. This was easy to implement because I worked in a small but geographically varied team that communicated largely by email.

I didn’t realise how lucky I was, until I started my new short term role and my desk started slowly drowning in paper. I wouldn’t call myself an environmental activist by any means, but some days I positively weep for lost trees. Now, it would be wonderful to ‘be the change I wanted to see in the world’, but that requires buy in from all parties. This company is one of the largest employers in the Southern Hemisphere. That is a lot of people to convince. My particular division also arose out of an emergency situation, where the comfort and reliability of paper in an ever changing team/building/environment was paramount. For a lot of people, disaster management is best done on paper.

I’ve been using GTD for many years and my system has been through several modifications. For a long time I used an excel spreadsheet, then moved to Outlook Tasks to accommodate the system my boss was using (I was so happy to be working with someone who actually had a system that I was prepared to give a little). My separate personal system was in Toodledo. Notebooks were a joy because they were primarily for creating or capturing ideas, not tracking the mundane (although even that has become a bit more productive / geeky due to Ryder Carroll’s bullet journal system).

For going paperless in a Mac environment, check out MacSparky.

paperwork

So, 5 Simple Steps:

1. Change what you can. Where there is no process, or the existing process has room for improvements, make them. Most people are actually willing to hear what you have to say when presenting a change to their system in a thoughtful, respectful manner. As part of that change, convert anything you can to a paperless approach.

2. Manage paper efficiently. If you have no choice but to deal with paper, then at least use it wisely. Don’t make unnecessary copies. Don’t just shove everything in one inbox and lose hours of your day looking for files. Essentially, have a system. If you do everything by email, then follow up flags and categories make tracking ‘waiting for’ items a piece of cake. Make sure that still applies if you’re stuck with paper.

3. Upload capture documents frequently. If you have an option to upload the paper documents that are floating around in ubiquitous amounts, then do so. More importantly, do it as often as possible. People are much less likely to make additional copies of a hard copy file for their own use if they can just view it on the screen in front of them. Most people are inherently lazy; use that to save the environment and your sanity.

4. Reduce the number of electronic systems. Another fatal error that is actually the case in most companies is the use of twenty four gajillion electronic systems. When one is not quite perfect, they find another one. Most of the time, it is not the tool, but the user is at fault. But that is far too difficult to address when you can just splurge a couple of hundred thousand pounds on a new shiny! Then half the users upgrade while half show reluctance. Great. Now the documents are in one of two places and the easy search is gone. Lather, rinse, repeat over the years and no-one trusts a damn thing. People go back to trusting the paper they can see and feel. Cull the tools and use common sense.

5. Spread the word. When people see that you are being more productive with a clean desk, then they will want some of what you’re having. Only, they won’t ever want to confess to it. We all know people like this; the ones who drown in chaos and claim it is because they are far too busy. Most of the time, they are simply inefficient and confuse busy with job security. Sometimes, it’s best just to give a little. Again, in a polite and respectful manner, point out small gains they can make at first. Even when looking at a productive person’s desk, a fresh pair of eyes can usually spot a few quick wins. Give generously to those who will accept help and enjoy watching them becoming less stressed over time. You’ll feel better and the trees will thank you for it.

Can you go backwards and still stay sane? I’d like to think so.

Tracking Goals: Going Analogue

Along with Lift (edit: now coach.me), I’ve also found something analogue to help with my habit formation and personal development. This is the cool Goals Journal from kikki K.

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It takes some time to set up, but the process of doing so is really worthwhile. Instead of just coming up with random goals, it starts with the premise of trying to define your dream life. There are several helpful examples that talk you through the process, for example, stating your core values:

IMG_5379

 

The dream life itself has a few key factors, one of which is explicitly stating when you want to be living this. That took me a bit of thought. I obviously wanted to pretend I could get my dream life as soon as possible. Next week! But reality kicks in. So setting the balance between plausibility and so far in the future you’re not actually motivated to start straight away is a thought-provoking act in itself.

 

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Once you’ve worked out where you’re going to be, there is a section for each month where you define 4 goals. Only four for the month, so as long as you do it sensibly, it always feels achievable. The key part here is stating why you want to do this – how does it propel you further towards your vision?

 

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Of course, we all know that setting out goals is not enough. If only it were. But no, you actually have to take action to achieve them. To combat some of the most common excuses (I don’t have time etc etc), for each month there is a timetable. This urges you to set time aside for your goal work in the same way you would schedule an appointment for all the other areas of your life. This highlights how much time you really do have in your life if you want it badly enough.

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So, tomorrow being the 1st of March, I have completed everything and now it is all set up. At the end of the month, it’ll be interesting to see the progress I’ve made on my four defined goals (and if I gave myself the reward regardless…).

Productivity and Personal Development: Why 6AM Matters

There is a current debate at the moment in productivity which seems to be pitting the ‘night owls’ against the ‘early risers’. Whilst I’m of the view that as long as you are getting important stuff done it doesn’t matter, I have to say I fall on the early riser side of things.

Don’t get me wrong, I never used to be. As a writer, I always felt my most creative hours were between 10pm and 2am. Which was great – if I didn’t have a day job. Once I did, then the reality was that creative never actually happened.

Then a couple of years ago, I was listening to a GTD Virtual Study Group podcast which brought to my attention the prospect of getting up early to make sure that if nothing else went right that day, you would always have an hour you could look back on, knowing that you had taken another step towards your goal. Towards doing what mattered most to you, not what mattered most to the boss man.

So I made the transition from getting out of bed at the last possible moment (after hitting that snooze button several times), to getting up at 6am, making myself a coffee and refusing to get up and go to work until I got 1000 words down. From now over a thousand mornings, I must have failed to hit that mark less than a dozen times. Getting to work late and then playing catchup all day was a powerful motivator to get typing.

Now I find myself on the other side of the world, having a writing sabbatical. Which some people would say is a fancy way of saying I’m unemployed. Transitioning careers. That kind of stuff. It doesn’t matter what you call it, it means I get to plan 100% of my time now without the 9-5 (or 8-7 as it realistically was most of the time).

All those hours back. All that free time. So what am I doing? I am getting up every morning at 6am to write, just like I have done every weekday for the past few years. Why? Because it works. Because setting up your day to start right is a key to making it a good day, no matter what else life throws at you.

It doesn’t matter what you do, or what you want to achieve. Starting your day intentionally by making it count is the best way to get there. To live a more productive life. Or, to put it in a way I’ve started to feel a lot lately, a more meaningful life.

On Productivity: Your Trusted System

Kerry Dawson's avatarThe Daily Mac View

On Productivity: Your Trusted System

A while back, I wrote a three part series on productivity. My basic premise was to be as productive as you can you need a model to draw on that would drive your workflow. The model I decided to use and which I do use is “Getting Things Done” by David Allen.

A principle aspect to GTD is having a trusted system or something which you have complete faith in. The idea behind this is that our brains are designed for creating but they aren’t the greatest storage tools. To relax, if you have a system you trust, you’ll have the confidence to turn what needs to be done over to the system. This allows you to relax as you know what needs to be done and this will eventually produce the outcome you‘re looking for. However, if you don’t trust your system…

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