As it turns out, there are a few things I didn’t expect to be doing during a pandemic. Yet here I am, having to do them. When you’re in the thick of things, it can be hard to get perspective. As everyone else seems to be learning to bake bread, reading a gazillion books or ‘taking the time to pivot’, I have been engaged in what feels like daily mortal combat with a toddler. Not to mention that when you’re isolated inside, the only break you get from that is to look outside. World in 2020, you are not doing so great right now. There is no light relief to be found.

Big Transitions

There is no doubt that this whole experience has been tough for children, especially young ones like mine who simply aren’t old enough to understand what is going on. Every routine that involved going out or seeing other people simply evaporated overnight. So we’ve made our own new routines and just as they were settling in, everything feels like it is about to change again. I am completely certain that easing lockdown will be harder than entering it. Entering it was black and white. Exiting is more nuanced in so many ways.

But children continue to grow and develop at their own pace and don’t hold off just because the world around them is going to hell in a hand basket. So whilst trying to avoid big changes, we’re still having to transition from a cot to a bed and begin potty training. All the guidebooks out there, all the parenting blogs, none of them know how to do it best in these circumstances. If you’re like us, then this is something everyone else is figuring out for the first time. Throw those grand plans for the ‘best’ way to do it out of the window and give yourself a bit of grace. That’s what I keep telling myself, at least.

Missing My Commute

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking forward to going back to a 2.5 hour daily commute. But there are things about it that I miss like crazy. That space where I am literally alone for a guaranteed few hours. There is nothing like being unable to be away from people, no matter how much you love them, 24 hours a day. I miss listening to my usual rotation of podcasts. I miss having the time to think and mull over problems. I don’t miss the physical exhaustion it brings, or the usual idiot drivers on my route, but it’s been interesting to see that in the grand scheme of things, it isn’t all bad.

My Routine

I’m not sure I expected to keep quite as much of those essential habits and routines as I actually have. I chose a somewhat ironic selection for my daily journal back at the end of February:

But despite the somewhat amusing quotes about going places that fill the pages for inspiration (now desperation), I have managed to stick to my daily journal and gratitude practice. It has kept me grounded and allowed me to process my thoughts in the hardest and scariest of days. In the future, I’m sure I will be glad that I chose such a chunky notebook. I calculate that it will be finished at the end of June, as the world begins to reopen and emerge. It will be good to one day look back and be able to see this crazy time all in one place, rather than scattered throughout several notebooks.

And as an aside, I am trying to work out how to fill what time remains at home effectively and set myself up for the new normal before it comes and hits me in the face. I’m reading 168 Hours by Laura Vanderkam and thinking about doing a time log again. I’ve done it before and it seemed much easier when I was working full time rather than staying at home. Which probably tells me something in itself….